Really loving them?

Romans 12:9

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.

I am really burdened for us parents today and the way we have been neglected by our kids. The kids go off in their rooms and they want to do their own thing. They ignore what we are saying and they don't want to listen. They act like we don't even care and they want to argue with us. When we do have a minute with them, it is in the car on the way to practice. The only quality time we get with our kids is that 5 minutes on the way to school or the ten minutes when we are telling them to clean the house. All they want to do is escape with gaming, t.v. and you tube videos. They have all these distractions with their friends and of course there are hours of homework that they have to do. It is so bad that they can't even have a conversation with us because they are so busy.

Where did our kids learn this from? Are our lives so busy that we don't even SEE our kids? Do we try to be with them? Do we give them so many things that they are distracted? Do we ever turn off the tv and just sit and have dinner with them? Do they know who WE are? We are called to REALLY love our kids, not just pretend. When we need to be available and not to fill up their every minute. We need to say “no” sometimes when they want to do other things and instead do things as a family or as parent/child. Of course there is work that we bring home, but we need to prioritize and spend time with our kids. We need to stop arguing with our spouse and show that everlasting loving commitment we made to each other. The devil wants us to be distracted and say “I cant do anything with my kid.” We need to take back our responsibility as parents. We need to HATE what is wrong and not bring it into our home. We need to hold on TIGHT to each other with hugs, communication, commitment and availability.

Love is the answer. We can't do this without Jesus. He was the perfect example of pouring out His love for us. He hasn't given up on us or our kids. He wants us to show our kids His perfect, all sufficient love. If we don't have that love, then that is where we need to start...on our knees asking Him to forgive us.

Lord, Forgive me for being so distracted with life that I don't even see You. You show yourself to me every day, but I escape in the t.v., the internet, the burdens of life. I miss my kids. They are all over the place and when I look deep down, I have been guilty of causing them to be distracted. I take them here and there, but I don't take them to the cross. I don't know how to help them bear their burdens, but you do. You know everything they need to get closer to you. Help me first of all to get my life right with you. Forgive me for pretending to love my children. Help me to lead them to you, and lead them to a life of Your LOVE that satisfies them. I hate what is wrong and I hold tight to what is right. Show me how to be steadfast in my commitment to you and to my spouse, and restore my relationship with my child. I thank you in advance for what you are gonna do. In Jesus precious name, Amen

Listening to God's Prompting

Listen to God's prompting

It is weird to think that my child is wrong and I am right , but he/she (I will just use he for the examples from now on) doesn't think he is wrong...Maybe neither of us is wrong, but we just have a difference of opinion...

Should I have asked him to to this place that I had planned for our fun and recreation? If I did ask, he would have said “NO” just because it is opposite if what I want to do. I want him to be well balanced and that means that sometimes he has to do things that he is insecure about so that he can experience new things and learn to be comfortable with them. Isn't my job as a parent to help him stretch and grow?

Lord, I give my child to you. I can't raise him myself, and thank you for my husband's help but ultimately it is you that raises him. Show me what to do. Does my child just like confrontation...that could be a good thing if he is on the right side, but he needs to make sense. He has to learn how to make sense and that can't happen all of a sudden. It takes time I can teach him how to make sense and that is part of my goal.

Would my child's life be easier with out me? Sometimes, but would it be better? NO, I am the training agent to prepare him for the real world...all that stuff he doesn't know and doesn't want to know.

You, God, are the same way. You show me and teach me. Do I hear You? Sometimes if I take time to listen. Do I do what the Holy Spirit tells me? Sometimes, but other times I totally ignore Your prompting. I miss so many opportunities to share Your love and don't share what You've been teaching me simply by not speaking. Would I be better off without You? Of course not, You made me. When I'm not doing Your will, I am being disobedient. Will You strike lightning down on me for that? You could, but You haven't done that yet. When I disobey, I miss an opportunity for your blessings and for you to be glorified. I miss opportunities to share Your love because I'm hoarding it with the guise of “not wanting to offend someone”. If You want me to say it, the timing will be right and I'm not offending You. Would I rather take the chance of offending someone else by saying something that God wants me to say, or would I rather offend God by not listening to the God's Holy Spirit prompting me?

Thank you Lord for not giving up on me. When You teach me, I want to listen and respond to your words. In the same way, I want my child to listen and learn from me. I get very frustrated when he ignores me. Teach us how to listen to You and learn from each other and how to do the right thing. I'm sorry when I keep silent and I offend you. Help me to follow Your prompting because then I will receive the joy of knowing I shared Your Word and that someone may be my child.

I Love you, In Jesus name,

Amen

Pouring out without complaining

Phil 2:14-18 Do everything without complaining and arguing so that no one can criticize you . Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in the world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firm to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ's return, I will be proud that I didn't run the race in vain and that my word was not useless. But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. Yes, you should rejoice and I will share your joy.

Parenting isn't easy. It is hard not to argue and complain with our kids. We try to teach them to be content, but wonder if they will ever “get it”. Actually, we are suppose to learn from them too...their lives are innocent when they are young and they are very moldable. When we actually listen to them, they teach us how to love and accept others. When we learn to appreciate and accept our kids for who they are, we become content in our relationship with them. Sure we have a big responsibility to teach them not to be selfish and to care for others more than themselves, but when we look at life from a child's perspective, we are more likely to accept others for who they are and not criticize them.

Stand strong in your faith and don't back down. The race of raising our children is always before us and we must stay on the path, speaking truth and light to them. The race isn't over until Christ comes back and our responsibility is great, but it is a fun race. It is tiring, but it is full of funny times, and giggles, sweet kisses and hugs.

We should pour ourselves into our kids over and over just like a liquid offering. It is a sacrifice, but I think of the offering like gold stars pouring into them. They will shine bright and our life isn't in vain!! It is worth the work, worth the effort and full of grace and joy. We should be like that with our heavenly Father. He wants to shine his light into us and for us to be excited to meet with Him and gaze into His presence. His light will shine through us to our kids. This joy will permeate to their friends too.

Lord, Help me not to complain about being an active parent. I have a huge responsibility to train my children to be loving and accepting of others, but so often I don't even love and accept them as they are. Show me how to pour into them an offering of love and kindness so they will pour that into their friends. Yes, it is a sacrifice to teach them and train them in the way they should go, but it is worth it to see them spreading Your love!

We Love You, Jesus.

Amen

this season

This season

I have really enjoyed the sermons this season. They talk about us not getting stressed, but enjoying the time we have with the family. I don't have to make a huge fru fru about everything, but I want to make it special. The kids don't have to have every gift they had last year, and we don't have to keep every tradition (although some traditions are fun and important). The important thing is being together..playing games (yes, we should play video games with the kids some), singing, dancing, exercising like playing soccer together, watching movies (but not all day), cooking together, eating without the TV distraction. Listening to them is important. They don't need extravagance, they just need us.

Another important thing is for them to see us serving others. This includes our parents. Maybe the kids know someone that doesn't have much money. They can pick out a toy for that friend. Maybe there is a neighbor that never comes out of the house. Maybe you could take them some home made cookies. Ask God to show you ways to serve, and I'm sure he will put someone in your mind that needs a smile, or a hug.

God wants us to shine his joy and mercy in others. We shouldn't be greedy with His love. He wants us to share it freely and sharing the birth of Jesus with our family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, and strangers is a wonderful way to emulate what he has done for us.

Lord Jesus, help me to show Jesus to our kids during this season. Show me ways to not just see the kids in the other room, but to be with them as we celebrate the birth of the Lord. Also, help me to model serving to them. Show me people that need our love and care. Thank you for our families and I pray that we have quality time together as we celebrate Your birth.

In Jesus name

Amen

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Hi parents, I've been studying about discovering my SHAPE which is:

[S]piritual gifts

[H]eart beat

[A]bilities

[P]ersonality

[E]xperiences

As we train up our kids, the verse says train them they way they should go. That means THEIR SHAPE WILL BE DIFFERENT THAN OURS. Yes, we train them in the ways of the Lord, and teach them walk a christian lifestyle, but as the grow it is our responsibility and privilege to see their personalities bloom and to help mold them to be the person God wants them to be. Occasionally they may follow in our footsteps, but we shouldn't try to mold them into what we want them to be, or to recreate our lives through them.

Spiritual gifts: We need to help them discover their spiritual gifts and help develop those gifts in church. For example, if they have the gift of mercy, we should take them to the hospital to visit a sick church member, or if they are gifted in hospitality we should teach them to have a fun party with their friends. (yes, I love to teach my kids how to party)

Heartbeat: They are learning what their passions are right now. We need to lead them to link their heart with God's heart. They're learning from us what their heartbeat will be. We need to show them Jesus in our every day lives. We can share with them our dilemmas and how we made our choices. Our home should be worshipful, fun, loving, peaceful. As we share our passion for Christ, they will be inspired and become passionate too.

Abilities: We need to pray every day for God to show us their abilities so we can channel their energies in a positive way. If our child really loves sports, we should encourage them to be the best they can be, but if they don't we shouldn't force them. If they are doing sports, we should teach them cooperation, good sportsmanship, caring for others, teamwork. It isn't about screaming at them to do better from the sidelines, but to encourage them and build them up as they do their best while coaching them, practicing with them, going to their games. If they like singing but they are shy, we may need to give them lessons and give them opportunities to be on stage. They may not like it in the beginning, but we are also supposed to help them stretch! It is a hard line sometimes between stretching and pushing, but patience and prayer is the key. Pray for them to have opportunities that only God can provide and He will provide amazing opportunities.

Personalities: It is so fun to study the birth order of our children. It isn't always accurate, but it helps to know what the experts say. (“The New Birth Order” by Kevin Leman is one of my favorite books.) In my experience, each kid has their own unique way of fitting in while trying to stand out. I have 4 kids that are very different. They all love God, but they come at it from different angles. I like to tell them that God made each of us different and their unique talents are needed to make the family complete. We need to have mutual respect for each member of the family, just like we do with God's family.

Experiences: We don't want our kids to hurt. More than anything we want to protect them and have provide them a sheltered, safe environment. That is good and normal, but when things go bad, we can teach them how to work these things for good. When they get bullied at school, instead of saying “just tough it out” or going to the teacher to complain, we can say, “I wonder what this kid is going through at home? Maybe his parents are split up, or maybe he is hungry. We might not know why a bully is mean, but we can start praying for him/her and try to witness God's love to this person. Lets pray right now...” Our child will have a new mission to try to show love instead of vengeance. That experience may lead to the bully becoming saved. With the difficult experiences that our children live through comes a teaching moment that we can be sensitive to. We may have a hard time talking to our children, but if we are available to them, they are more likely to come to us.

All these suggestions take time and effort. Whew it is hard to help SHAPE our kids the way God wants them to be molded, but with God all things are possible. He has given us these kids so we can help them grow into men and women of God.

Lord, Help me to take the parenting task seriously. Show me how to SHAPE my children to be the sons and daughters of God that you desire to use for Your kingdom. Help me to be sensitive to your leading and know when to help them stretch and when to just sit and listen. Most of all, help me to be the best example I can be as I learn to follow you with my SHAPE too. In Jesus name, Amen

clean slate

Parenting is an amazing challenge.It is fun to learn to bond with each child..they are all so different! As I learn about each of them, I  gain knowledge and wisdom. At the same time, the kids grow and develop too. So I keep all my knowledge and experience to equip me for anything, but I've realized that I also need to wipe my  slate clean with each kid so I can react to them individually.  What's good for one kid is not necessarily good for the other.  I need to think about what makes that kid tick using their love language, their birth order, their good and bad experiences, their competitiveness, their sensitivities.   I need to take time to respond with strength and sensitivity.   Some kids open up easily, while others require me to probe to prove that I care...yet as they get older, I have to learn when to give them freedom and when to reign them in. When they proove themselves academicely, I need to be careful to watch their social interactions.  Most importantly,  I think they need to know that I love them no matter what. I'm human and make mistakes,  but at the end of the day, if we give hugs and prayers, including confessions to God and to each other, and lots of laughs, I've done the best I can as a parent.

We are His Masterpiece

Ephesians 2:10
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

This verse is worth meditating on. When we take off all the worldly junk and put on Jesus, He makes us his beautiful masterpiece. When He created us, he had big plans for us. It didn't just happen yesterday or a few weeks ago. His plan started when we were being formed. He made us because He loved us as his workmanship. We are each made differently and we are all a one of a kind. Sometimes we feel like a misfit, like we don't belong. The interesting thing is that we are not meant to fit in, we are made to stand out, to be unique, to shine for HIM.

So how does this fit in with our kids. Do we shine for Jesus as we go along our daily routine? Do the kids know we think we are special in His sight, or do we put ourselves down? Do they see Jesus in our relationship with our spouse and our friends? Does God's light (or lack of light) shine from us to them? We can go along everyday and not even notice the kids. If they are into their own music, their own friends, their own tv, we can say “oh, that is just the way they are”, or “i can't do anything with them”. It doesn't have to be that way. Our influence on them is invaluable! God's light shining through you to your kids requires them to be with you to see the light. When they see it, they can feel the warmth of the Sonshine, and it radiates from you to them. They may not tell you about it, but it gives them security and love and they begin to believe that they are masterpieces also.

We need to tell our kids how special they are, even when they screw up. Jesus never demands us to be perfect, but loves us through our imperfections and teaches us how to be obedient. He leads us back to His plan for our lives and shows us the best way. He is the best example for us as parents. We need to show our kids we love them unconditionally and teach them how to obey. It is a long process, but if they can learn to obey Christ through our teaching, they will realize they are special in His sight and he isn't going to give up on them, and neither are we. Our children are meant for an amazing purpose, to know they are loved and to share His love with the world.

Lord, Creator, I don't deserve your love, but I'm so glad that you died for my sins. Please forgive me when I doubt your love for me. You have created me as your masterpiece,and I am so glad I am special in your sight. Help me to show the children how special I am in your sight, and to teach them that they are special too. Help me not to ignore them or put them down, but to build them up and to teach them about unconditional love. Show them your love and enable them to realize that they are a masterpiece in your sight.
In Jesus precious name,
Amen